I think that is my word for the season. I really contemplated NOT putting up a Christmas tree this year. I have been thinking about it since the day after Thanksgiving. Now that Brennen doesn't celebrate Christmas it is a little different. I really try hard not to let this bother me at the holidays (every holiday). But, honestly it does. I want to celebrate WITH him. But anyways, back to the current post (before this goes south). So, Brennen would prefer not to have a tree; Amber doesn't care either way; and I am busy and not really around to enjoy it alot. So, to put a tree up or not: that is the question.
I started looking around the living room to see where I would even put it at. I have no corners in the living room. Every corner of the room is a door way. Last year I covered one doorway with a curtain and put the tree in front of it. But since this time last year we gained bigger furniture. So the furniture takes up all of the wall space. So, that was problem number one. Mom and Scotty suggested getting a small tree and putting it on a coffee table. - If I am going to go to the trouble of putting up a tree - it is going to be the big shabang! So, I guess I am not putting up a tree I decided. But I couldn't stop contemplating it.
Then a few weekends ago I talked to my Mamaw on the phone! What a blessing that conversation was. She asked - are you the kind of person that is ok without having a tree. I initially said yes - but then continued talking about how I love to spend hours laying in front of the tree without any other lights on and just staring at it. How magical it feels. How peaceful. How beautiful. Mamaw suggested to me to put potpourri and lights in mason jars and use them like mini trees. That way I could have one in every room. This was a good suggestion but for the rest of the conversation I just kept thinking about how I love to fall asleep looking at the Christmas tree. About how I love looking at every ornament on there and thinking about when I got it and why. There is something about it that just warms me from the inside out.
After getting off of the phone with her I headed to town to run some errands. I was in such a wonderful mood. I let some man go ahead of me in the checkout line just because he looked like he was in a hurry. A little while later that day I went to Mom and Scotty's house. I could not believe what I had found out: Scotty put Christmas lights on the outside of their house. I was baffled. I helped my mom decorate and put up her Christmas tree. It was so beautiful. I was so happy that she decided to put up her big tree. All week I had kept telling her that it was a personal preference and that it didn't matter if she wanted to put up the big one or the little one. But the magic that had been inside of me since talking to my grandmother just smiled through when I saw that Scotty had gotten the big tree out of storage for her. Besides the tree, she even decided to put out a Christmas village that she hadn't put out in years.
I couldn't believe what happened next. While we were decorating guess what happened. IT SNOWED!!!! I decided then that I would be putting up a CHRISTMAS TREE. I think I had known it all along - but I lacked inspiration. Let me tell you - on this one day I received it. THE MAGIC OF THIS SEASON WAS BEAMING OUT OF ME!!!!!
